Being An Essentialist Parent, Partner & Home Manager

“Have you ever found yourself stretched too thin? Busy, but unproductive?” Greg McKeown, author and speaker, has much to say about essentialism. He wrote an entire book about it! Those questions he poses are ones that we can all relate to. We are inundated with options, ranging from bad to good to better to best.

And these options are hard to choose from, especially as a parent. We all hope to do the best for our children and families. But what if we find ourselves, like Greg says, stretched too thin, busy but unproductive? Examining our choices and what we say “yes” and “no” to are at the center of Greg’s thoughts. After all, we can’t say yes to everyone and everything. If we do, we may find ourselves juggling too many extracurricular activities across our children, making it difficult and stressful to get to places on time.

Then what’s the solution? “Finding the courage to say no to what’s nonessential gives you the freedom to say yes to a world of things that are [essential].” Let’s start by examining your schedule. Are there things you’re saying yes to (for yourself or other family members) that you should reconsider? The most challenging decisions will be identifying between better and best. Being an essentialist takes dedication and mental effort.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “There’s more to life than increasing its speed.” By examining the things you’re saying “yes” to and renegotiating those yeses, the Navy Seal’s motto of “slow is smooth and smooth is fast” may start to make sense.

Getting to the essential

As you work through your list of things you’ve said “yes” to and begin to reevaluate, know that you don’t have to say no to nonessential items forever - just for now. Write down these “yeses” or commitments (you can use Pixie for that)! Put it in a system that helps you keep track of active projects and inactive ideas or dreams (Pixie can also help with that). These methods will help ease the pain of parting with the things that keep you busy but are nonessential.

You will be able to identify what is essential quickly. There will be things you’ve written down that you know are necessary for you and your family simply because you can’t bring yourself to physically (or metaphorically) throw away the sticky note with that commitment on it. For things that fall in between, where you’re just not sure if they’re essential, you should consider what purpose the commitment serves. What outcome are you driving toward with this commitment? And is that outcome essential? If the outcome is, but the commitment is not, is there a better way to accomplish it?

Staying Essential

These things all become daily habits. You’ll find that because you now have documentation and time blocked for your commitments, it’s easier to say “no” to the nonessential. More than half of the battle with over-committing or committing to the wrong things is due to a lack of transparency.

With your commitments in your calendar and all your tasks, ideas, and thoughts written down (do this in Pixie!), you can successfully communicate to your future self in a way that will provide honest and frictionless reasons for staying committed to the essentials for you and your family.

What happens once you’re essential?

Why are you doing this? What’s the point in eliminating nonessential things and focusing on only the essentials? You live more. You enjoy more. You feel less stressed. You will make more lasting, quality memories. You people please less. You will feel more comfortable saying no.

Because essentialism isn’t something you do; it’s something you are.

Download Pixie today and begin your path to essentialism.